Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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