butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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