At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
