Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize