apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
