he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Your penis caused this!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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