Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
