Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
