Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
