He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
