____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
