what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
