i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
