The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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