Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
