i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize