You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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