i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am full of burrito and curiosity
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
