I skipped work to stalk him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
