1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
3 2 1 whiskey
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
