Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
