Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
