You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
