his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
