and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
