its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
