its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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