I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
