DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
