yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize