mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
