she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize