I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
