well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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