he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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