Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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