You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you will always have a special place in my vag
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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