i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
