I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize