All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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