i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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