So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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