is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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