where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
