How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
