did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
