I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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