My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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