My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Randomize