You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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