Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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