Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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