Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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