I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
