i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
