These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
