He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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