I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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