are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize