I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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