He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
